I am by no means an expert. I'm just trying to figure it out as I go. One our Supers has been saying your grass is green where you make it... or something along those lines. Basically he is saying instead of looking for greener grass, do the work to make your own grass green. Easier said than done I am learning.
Things have been pretty rough at work lately. I know in the past I would write about things being so busy that I couldn't keep up. Now, it is the opposite, and honestly, it is pretty scary. Guys are watching out for me and telling me to be careful with my spending, etc. While I appreciate them beyond belief, it is soul crushing to the gardener in me. Right now I want ALL the things...lol. I think I am going through the stages of grief, and I have finally moved into acceptance. I am starting to accept that this year I may not have the yard that I have been pining for and dreaming of for months. It will be practicality over beauty. *Sigh* Ok... so maybe I have not yet quite achieved acceptance, but when I hear horror stories of people not being able to collect unemployment for months, I know it is the right choice.
So you are probably wondering where I am going with this rant. In attempt to move beyond the sadness, I realized I need to learn to celebrate what I have. It's almost a change in perspective. Instead of looking around my yard for spaces I need to fill, I am enjoying the beauty of what I do have. Instead of wondering greenhouses, I am spending time pulling weeds and oooo-ing and awwwww-ing. I am taking time to enjoy the fruits of the work I have done over the years instead of trying to fix the gaps that still exist. I may have been forced to make my grass greener, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the outcome...lol. I have no idea what the future has in store for me, so I will attempt to make the best decisions I can. With that being said, I don't want to live in fear either. I am fortunate to be surrounded by beauty and good people, and at the end of the day, those are the best spaces in between!
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