Loud Thoughts in a Quiet Room

Are you as shocked as I am that I am writing a blog!? I know... it's been a long time, but the title has been rolling around in my head for a few days. Currently, I'm on day 4 of my 5 day vacation. Whenever I get time off, I like to retreat from society and spend my time in isolation doing whatever my heart desires...which often means binging horrible tv (smile). Often, once I slow down to the point where I can actually breathe, the thoughts in my head become pretty loud. With us entering the new year, I tend to check in on how I think my life is going. This year December was really hard for me. I literally had to drag myself into the new year bribing myself with a few days off. I was being pretty hard on myself for allowing my world to get to this point, but there is one thought I couldn't get out of my mind. I catch a lot of grief for the hours I work and how I approach my job. Sometimes I am even my biggest critic, but each time I stop to check in, I confidently decide that I wouldn't want to do it any other way. There is some quote about trying to live a life you don't need a vacation from, but I am not sure I can buy into that. Why would you devote a significant portion of your life to something without fully committing to it? Why wouldn't you try to be the best that you can be? Why wouldn't give you everything that you have? Is it possible that to fully live your life, you have to push the boundaries? I have less than 36 hours until I am back in the game, but until then, these are the thoughts that will be running through my mind. Stay tuned....