As part of my attempt to pull myself out of my funk as well as working on my goals for 2024, I find myself at Hotel Rock in Lititz for a quick, 1 night escape. And God do I love this place! My hope is that if you would Google it, when you look at the pictures, you would think this is "very Tanya." LOL It's the vibe I would love to portray! Last time I was here, I felt so inspired, and I actually posted my first poem on Facebook. I was pretty drunk, and still I was terrified after I put it out there. There was so much support and encouragement. Plus, I remember when Funky made up his own poem to try and meet me where I was. *smile* So excited tonight, I got into my room, opened a drink, and sat down with my book of partial poems ready to pick my next one to share, almost to start a tradition. I realized that I often write in there from a place of pain, and quickly allowed it to suck me into a dark place. That is absolutely not allowed here! So what did I do? Turned to music on YouTube. (After all, I am surrounded by recording studios on this property!) Last time I remember drunkenly "dancing" around the room, and I am chasing that feeling!! As I write this, I think I'm on my 7th playing of Lizzo's Good as Hell. Sorry, not sorry neighbors! But it is working, and honestly, that's all I care about. I wanna be "feeling good as hell!" Because the truth is, lately I've been feeling anything but. That's my own fault though. I need to determine how I feel about me. I've now moved on to Maren Morris and we find our soul revival singing every single verse. This wonderful world has definitely gotten heavy, and I needed to find an escape. My hopes is that when you find yourself in this position, you also do what you need to tap into the amazing person that you are. The world needs you just as you are, perfectly flawed and all. I had a quote in my planner last week which touched my heart (and most likely will eventually a blog all of it's own) that said "to those who inspire us and don't even know it." Of course I had to put a heart at the end of it. I have so, so, so, so many people who deeply inspire me but probably have no idea. Sometimes only because I am too bashful to share. By now I'm almost to the bottom of drink #1, and I am very much enjoying Linkin' Park's cover of "Rolling in the Deep." Don't worry, my neighbors are enjoying it too! Time to order some room service and Miller Light!
For the sake of tradition, let me share something I have written....
Just like a trusted blanket
You have always been there
Protecting me from the realities of myself
That I could neither fix nor face
Now its time for the next chapter
And my blanket has become a noose
Choking me as I move from the norm
Keeping me small
I cannot bring my blanket with me
As now I must choose
Good bye I bid
Knowing you must grow as well
I know you are hurting
As I am hurting too
More adventures lie ahead
But our path goes separate ways
While I know the journey ahead is all on me
You have gotten me this far
Much respect for the tears and stains
A chapter I will never forget
コメント