I hesitate to type this because putting it into words makes it real, but... I'm wanting to get back into writing. I've been watching a bunch of YouTube videos from people who are on the same journey. Some have really vibed with me and some people are, well, just really different. One video had a list of questions to ask yourself, and one that totally sucked me in is who you want to be. Of course they meant as a writer, but I think it would be a great question for me to answer more broadly. Honestly, the blog has been rolling around in my head, but I don't think I am far enough in to my vacation yet to tackle it without inhibition. I bring all this up, because the thought I have put in to this question has brought me to today's blog. So... here goes nothing... seriously.... manage your expectations...lol.
If you know me, you know I am completely opposed to anything "women in construction" related. Having spent over 20 years (wow... I'm taking that in for a second... 20 YEARS!!!) in the construction industry, I feel like I have seen some things. More than that, I have put a lot of effort into fighting the stereotypes whether it is men vs. women or office vs. field. Your girl here honestly melts for chivalry. I can't help but awww for someone who offers to carry something for me or anything along those lines. In the same breath, I hate when my gender is used as an identifier in my professional world as it forces me to start behind the starting line. As I consistently mention, I have a close relationship with my boss which allows both of us to speak openly and honestly about nearly everything. Most of the time it is a blessing and only occasionally is a curse...lol. Even though I know there is no way that he can understand, sometimes I will attempt to confide and/or explain how drained I feel from just attempting to participate. One gift this boss/employee arrangement has given me is the realization that there really is no green grass... only the illusion of it. I will whine or complain about how he is so lucky because his first efforts with a group is never about why he deserves to be there. Instead he is able to move right into the issue at hand. For me, I have to start off by listing accomplishments that have earned me my seat at the conversation, my credentials, and then begin to explain what I can bring to the situation. What really pushes me over the edge is when a conversation is directed to him merely because he walks in the room. Fortunately for me, we have talked about it, and I can see his intentional efforts where he tries to insure that does not happen. It was such an eye opening experience for me when I realized why new new vendors and employees are a complete drain for me. Before I get too far down this woe is me track (and maybe as the vacation margaritas begin to kick in) I also feel like I need to give the guys the credit they deserve. I work with an absolutely amazing, patient, tolerant group of guys... and even that explanation does not begin to do them justice. I absolutely did the work to get my foot in the door at the company, but there is no way I would be anywhere near where I am today without them. Sure some of it is silly and fun to look back on, like calling it dip pipe instead of DIP, or the teasing I have taken as they have attempted to make me see things from their perspective. But when I think of all of their effort, time and patience to walk through a situation, I am truly humbled. Just for the record, this blog is going in a direction that I definitely did not see coming, but at the same time, I think it is going in a direction that they deserve. Last week, I had a foreman completely knock me off of my feet. There is one site foreman who has been with the company all of his career, but he is newer to his role. I love working with him because he isn't afraid to think outside the box and suggest doing things differently then the way that they have always been done. You also probably aren't surprised to hear that this approach also has earned him the label of being a little bit of a pain in the ass. Anyways, his smart ass ways, which he has only recently begin to show me, ended up with one of our vendors bringing lunch for the site guys which I was 1,000% good with. The part that caught me completely off guard was when he invited me to join them because I had participated in the struggle with them. I was so glad he was asking me over the phone because I was absolutely smiling like an ididot at the invitation. For the past 20 years, all I have wanted was to be viewed as a valued member of the team, and that was exactly what he was giving me. Of course Thursday wasn't the first time in my career that happened, but I guaranteed you that I spent the entire day on cloud 9 and that was the best pizza I ever tasted! I attempted to tell the site team as much, but it's not their fault that they had no idea how much it really meant to me. When I started this blog, my plan was to try and explain how much it sucked to be a woman in construction, but now I know the point of this blog is explaining the value of knowing when you found your people. I'm keeping the title, but I absolutely understand now why I will push until I am completely exhausted or why I am willing to use that last favor for them. Give until there is nothing less because that is what they have done for me. If you are female in a male dominated industry, I can only hope that you find your white knights that treat you like mine do. If so, then you know the battle will be completely worth it, and maybe, just maybe, you will find it in yourself to feel sorry for the men sitting across the table from you that under-estimate the fury of the storm that sit across from them. Go ahead and start me behind the starting line... under-estimate me. I'll show you how I can close that distance.
Comments