I've had an aversion to my blog. Maybe you have noticed. I wish this was my dramatic, sarcastic sense of humor, but it is my truth. Sometimes when life becomes too heavy, I can't bare the thought of processing the turmoil so I can write about it. Add in the fact that avoidance is my favorite defense mechanism, and you shouldn't be surprised that I ghosted you. Now, I am acknowledging my flaw and asking for your forgiveness so we can move forward. You see, my current struggle has been my career. If you know me well, you know that there are few things in life I take more seriously than my career. And if we are really close, you are probably thinking of a time where I chose it over you. 99.9% of the time I choose responsiblity over fun or joy. In my mind and heart, my career is my stability and my safety. If I have that, then anything else is attainable. Are you picturing the pyramid for Maslow's Hierarchy of needs? It's definitely the foundation for me. So this quandary was rocking my world. I would be consumed by it during the day, and when I would wake in the morning, I realized I had been dreaming about it as well. Both my head and my heart were taken hostage. While I have chosen a path with the outcome still unknown, that is not the point of this post. Even though I struggled and agonized, I had a serendipitous revelation. I realized that my family drives red pick ups. Now, I just went down a delightful 30 minute rabbit hole to try to find the perfect pictures to portray my point. While I shouldn't be surprised, the pictures below have very few red pick ups. Instead they show the feelings that I am trying to convey. Sure... science is one way to define family, but I am hoping that when you look at the pictures below, you will get a quick glimpse of what I see and love. I hope you can feel the authenticity in the pictures that you can't fake for the camera... the comradery, the respect, the care, the fun, the will to win. So sure, genetics is one way to identify your family, but these past few weeks, I've learned about the other type of family. The type who will make time for you no matter how busy they are. They will tell you their truth even when it doesn't align with their desired outcome. They will support and encourage you and see the good in you when you can't see it in yourself. You laugh together and struggle together, but no matter what, you have each other's backs. I just hope you can feel the love and pride come off this page. My family drives red pick ups.
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