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Writer's picturetanyareynolds23

The Guilt is Nearly Suffocating

Nearly 11 years ago, I joined a company as a naive, but hopeful individual. I was running from a company that did not value who I was, and even though I was afraid, I was on the quest for something better. Looking back now, sometimes I am overwhelmed by how much I have changed and grown. I'd like to take credit for some, but I also believe that a lot of it is because of the truly amazing people I am surrounded by every day... ok... most of them are only a phone call away (smile). I joke with my boss that working at this company ruined men for me. The grit, fight and will to win are not traits that you come by every day. And between you and me, there is just something about seeing a guy climb into a pick up with a cigarette in his mouth off to do something he doesn't really want to do that makes me feel a certain kind of way. Through the years I have fought my way into the circle often challenging the traditional norms. I'm still chasing a seat at the table, but I can confidently say that it is known that I pull on the rope. Is that enough metaphors for you? Seriously though, it means a lot to me that I am right in the middle of things, trying to find a way to make it better for my brothers. Snow removal is always a special struggle for me. The guys lean in, and I do everything I can to set them up the best that I can. And even though I am well aware that I would be more of a hinderance than a help, I struggle with the fact that I cannot help them. The guilt can be kind of overwhelming. So tonight as I am trying to unwind from the week and enjoy myself, I can't help but think of the sacrifice of a few to benefit the many.



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