Did you visualize R. Kelly? Dave Chapelle as R. Kelly is what popped into my head. Interpret that as you wish...
If it is possible to be serious after all of that, I do have something I am hoping to get off of my chest. "They" say the truth sets you free, right? I am afraid to write. Today is the 5th day of my trip, and aside from what you have seen posted, I haven't written anything. Since May 5th 2017, I have religiously written in my travel journal any time I went somewhere. I dreamed of one day having a book full of adventures and quirky experiences. Granted, I now tend to favor calm and peace over adventure, I have yet to put pen to paper. I also brought along other writing projects that I vowed to devote time. I sit here thinking about the person who rented office space to have a place to hone a craft she so desperately wanted to belong. I keep asking myself, if not this week, when? I have a block of uninterrupted time and beautiful surroundings. I have been reading though which I am learning is a must. 5 days in and 3 books read. This morning though, I got a little bit of insight. My mom snapped me yesterday which I didn't open until this morning... first thing this morning. It was a video of her dog (because she doesn't send still shots) telling me to let her know that I am ok. Now before you jump to her defense, I snapped her a picture of the water when I got down here Friday night at midnight letting her know I arrived safely. I've also been opening her snaps of mushrooms that she sent me. Honestly, her snap this morning made me angry. In that moment, she took my power away. Lately anger has been my go to emotion, but I tried to think through both the emotion and the situation. I am aware that there is a certain vulnerability traveling by myself, but I have been coming here for over 10 years. I'd also like to think that I have a good head on my shoulders, and well, I am fairly risk adverse. I can't imagine my mom asking my brother the same question. My point with this rant is that I have been taught to be afraid. In certain areas I have taught myself to shake it off and persevere, but other areas, especially where I feel more vulnerable, the fear gets in my way. I'm struggling with this roadblock. I've been doing the writing homework. I've been listening to YouTubes about writing planning and strategies for writers. November is actually Nanowrimo which stands for National Novel Writing Month. Writers who participate set out to write 50,000 words, and whoever does, wins. I really, really want to participate. While I don't expect myself to hit the lofty goal of 50,000 words, I am excited about a structured approach to try again... to get re-acquainted with a past love. Am I afraid? Hell yeah, I'm scared to death! Do I have that writing coach in the back of my head telling me that my work was too sarcastic for her to read? Ummm...yep! Does the practical side of me also recognize that she wasn't my person? Yes. As I bring this blog to a close and continue to try to build myself up, I think about how sad of a world it would be if so many talented writers. musicians, creators were not brave enough to put their work out into the world. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? That's my confession....
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