Who Left Me Unsupervised?

I did something. I have no idea what I was thinking. Honestly, I'm not even sure what has gotten into me lately. I've practically thrown caution to the wind and am trying all sorts of new opportunities. I have almost a let's see what this can do mindset. Who is the crazy, new risk taker!? Don't get it twisted though, I am a far cry from a writing free-for-all with talent and prose oozing out of my pores. I have been wrestling my share of demons. For example, an upstairs suite is an organization (really 1 person) who is striving to create an addiction compound. It will have a hotel, bed and breakfast, and I forget what else, but it will be a place for people to stay and learn about addiction. In the past month, I think I may have only been here once to twice when he wasn't. I thought I was passionate, but his commitment makes me question my own. You would have laughed at the pep talk I had with myself earlier about how this journey is my own, and it will not look like anyone else's. Just for the record, I haven't decided if I am buying that line or not yet. Anyways, back to what I did... if I haven't lost you by this point. So Black Friday got it's hooks in me. Yes, I am not proud of that. Earlier this month I was invited into a writer's group which has been surprisingly good for me. It not only challenges me to share, but the group has also given me much to think about and in a variety of different ways. Well, I saw the leader of the group was offering a severely discounted writer's coaching package. Thinking the opportunity would be completely out of my league, I messaged asking where in the writing process a person should be before they sign up. Much to my surprise, she said the earlier the better. That was too much honesty. I wasn't ready for that truth and retreated to process. I pretty much wrote myself off that I wasn't good enough and mourned the situation. Several days went by before Cyber Monday began to woo me. Once again I saw the post for the coaching. Honestly though, at what point does something become a sign??? I looked at the requirements which were more demanding than anything I have ever produced and thought "yep... I should do this." And before I thought much further about it, I signed up. Holy hell! Now I have a syllabus of timelines and obligations. While I feel completely out of my league, I'm also not backing down. First struggle though, a suggested weekly submission with a specified word count. I don't know if I have told you, but I am old school. There is something about using a pen to write in the perfect notebook for the story that is unfolding. I almost feel as though since I have to write the words, I take more time to think and the story in turn means more. I love all of that and am not really interested in changing my process. Unfortunately, I can't electronically submit that nor do I have time to count the words...lol. The real truth is I am afraid of the volume that I need to submit. I don't know if I have ever written that much in such a short period fo time. But.... GAME ON! I guess I will get this story out of me one way or another. And if not, I am sure I will learn so much. But seriously, I think should probably be chaperoned. The wheels haven't fallen off the bus yet, but it is leaning pretty hard...LOL. My heart tells me that I've started down this path so now is the time to go all in...whatever that looks like. Because if not now, when? So now I must go write and try to get a head start...LOL. Wish me luck and say a prayer for the coach. She has no idea what she got herself into! This experience will definitely be an interesting space in between.